By: WingZero[Custom]
Whenever I think of an anti-page, I think, "Ok, someone's got a grudge about such and such character or they were bored out of their mind." I guess I would know, I'm the co-owner and/or owner of *two* anti pages myself. But when I saw The Gundam Wing Boys Hate Page listed in Anipike.com's Gundam page, I think I nearly died laughing. I remember thinking, "What kind of MORON makes an anti page to ALL the Gundam Wing guys and submits it to anipike.com?" Then again, I had just finished seeing the Anti-Door site, so that really shouldn't have shocked me at all. I clicked on the wonderful little link, and I'm taken to a page with this green background and pink text on it saying "gundamwingboyssuckgundamwingboyssuckgundamwingboyssuck". (By the way, the page I'm talking about is: http://www.geocities.com/gundamboyssuck/, and it no longer exists on Geocities! WOOHOO!) Go there for a few cheap thrills, to laugh, or get pissed off.)
No big deal, right? WRONG! Then, I see this wonderful little disclaimer on it, which made me laugh my ass off: (quoted directly from the page itself...)
WARNING!!! This is an Anti- Gundam Wing Boys Page!! Why? You wonder why we hate them? Please read this.This is our opinion, if you feel that this will make you upset please leave now. Sign the guestbook and tell us what you think!!! IF YOU *DO* LIKE THE GUNDAM WING LOSERS, THEN LEAVE! Send us some mail!!!! Please do not continue if you will be offended. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!
Excuse me, that was the FIRST little warning thing, which was pretty funny, eh? I read that, thinking, "Ok, you hate the Gundam Wing pilots, more power to you. I doubt there is anything on this page that would highly piss me off." But then, just below THAT wonderful little display of idiocy, I see yet another disclaimer: (At this point, I recall thinking, "Why does a page need *TWO* disclaimers? One should be ENOUGH!")
*DISCLAMER* To all those Gundam Wing Boys fans that constantly tell us that we're jealous and so on and so on..we're not. This page is strictly our opionion. This page is meant for a laugh for all the people that hate them and were not meant to offend people that like them. No one pointed a gun at your head saying that you had to read this page. If everyone liked all the same characters this world would be a pretty boring place. Thank you
"Yeah right," I muttered to myself as I continued to scroll down. There, I see five pictures I've been looking for. "Wow! There's G-boys, in those sexy poses! Well, except for Wufei, but it's still a cool pic of him!" I exclaimed, then I realized that those were the links for the creator's reasons WHY they hate a certain pilot. I will now break into each individual section of the GW Boys Hate page and explain why it blows. (Yeah, just like Guide did with the Anti-Door site.)
1) Reasons They Hate Heero.
Being a Heero fan myself, naturally I went to the 'Why I hate Heero' page first. There, I saw a rather...nice pic of Hee-chan, with the title "Heero Yuy, the perfect loser" right above it, and the reasons the webmasters hate him right below it. After reading the first one, I nearly fell off my chair from laughing too damn hard. Here's why they hate Hee-chan:
I hate this guy!! He gets on my nerves!! He NEVER smiles! He has bad taste in women! He REALLY ugly! For one thing lose the hairstlye, Heero you loser! I hope while he's inside his Gundam it blows up!!!
ROFLMAO! That was quite entertaining, ne? From what I understand, they hate Heero because he never smiles, his 'taste in women' (which I wasn't aware of the fact that he had a specific preference in women until I read this... X.x), and because of his hairstyle? Ooooook, and I thought I was really messed up mentally. (Come on, I have two anti pages to anime characters. If that doesn't convince ya that I should be in the funny farm, I don't know what will...hehe...) As a Heero fan, you haven't convinced me how Heero sucks ass. Moving onto the next page...
2) Why "Danial and Linda" claim Duo Sucks.
This page has to be the funniest part of the entire site. Again, they feature a rather cool picture of Duo Maxwell, with the title "Duo Maxwell, the god of annoance" (Yes, that is EXACTLY how they posted that title on the page. I'm not a human dictionary or spell checker for crying outloud!) and their reasons. These reasons are even more hilarious than the "Why I hate Heero" ones, so check them out:
Duo just doesnt know when to shut up doe he? He has a sucky Gundam and a stupid nickname!!! "The God of Death" geeez, It should be the God of Annoyance or The God of Big mouthes!! Most people are brainwashed by his "intellijence" or what ever the hell it is. As you all know Duo is the horney boy of the group..and if any of you Gundam lovers disagree...I have one word for you..'Playgirl' anything surfacing??
I'm still wondering how the hell I was able to decipher those attempts at sentences at three in the morning. *shrug* I guess there ARE miracles. Anyways, back to the review. Eh...Duo knows how to shut up, he's got a kickass Gundam, his nickname is rather sexy. Whoever wrote the damn reasons should be coined as the 'God of Annoyance', and Duo is quite INTELLIGENT, although the same can't be said about you. Duo is horniest of the group? ROFL! You wish. No, I don't like Playgirl...NEXT!
3) Why they 'hate' (read: LIKE) Quatre and Wufei
After getting a really good laugh from the previous two pages, I decided to check out the reasons why they hate Quatre and Wufei. (The Wufei one especially...) As I was waiting for the Quatre one to load, I thought of all the possible moronic comments they could make about Quatre. "He's gay! He's wants to screw Trowa or Heero!" or something of equal stupidity. When the Quatre page loaded, lo and behold, here's what they said:
I dont mind him. He's actually pretty nice. But, I still hate them!
Ok, so you don't hate Quatre, yet you choose to include him in your little 'I Hate All G-boys' rant page. Wow, how intelligent. Then, I clicked on the next page, the one about Wufei. I'm like, "Che...maybe they can make up for their stupidity in the reasons they hate Wufei page..." WRONG! Here's what he puts about Wufei:
I don't mind him either. He just wears the same clothes.. And is pretty boring..
My, my...how...contradicting! Do you hate him, or do you like him? I have a hard time telling the difference, since you have a rather derogatory title for Wufag, then you decide to say he's cool. You hate his clothes? My god, even I don't use that as a reason for hating Bitch Boy. Geez, and I thought my reasoning for hating characters was warped. *Shrug* That just proves how the world is filled with idiots...moving right along to Trowa-kun...
4) Why Trowa is on the G-boys Hate Page 'Must Kill' List
By now, I've already come to two possible conclusions about this page. Conclusion one: The people who made this page have a very, very, very twisted sense of humor and they're doing this as a really big joke. Or there is conclusion two: the creators are trying their hardest to be serious, and it's not working. Both possibilities lead up to the creators having to be at least 8 year olds who just received the latest pirated version of Frontpage 2000. So, I go onto the last Gundam Pilot I have yet to read their opinion on....Trowa Barton, AKA: Triton Bloom, my third favorite character in the entire series. (Bite me, I like the silent types, something which Wufei *clearly* is NOT. :P) The page loads, then I see the title, "Trowa Barton, the stupid!" staring back at me. "Um, ok..." I said, scrolling down to the bottom to read these rather pathetic reasons for justifying their hatred for Trowa-kun:
OK! I cant stand this guy!! He's a freack! His real name isnt Trowa Barton either!! He has to steal it form some dead Guy!! He also in the circus as a clown!! Well he looks like one with that stupid hairstyle!!
OK! I can't stand these reasons for hating Trowa. (Trowa fans: You should be highly pissed off by the above comments, I know I was when I first read them.) What is a 'freack'? Is that supposed to be 'FREAK'? Again, the "I hate this character because of his hairstyle" excuse gets used. The only correct information about Trowa is that he DOES work in the clown as a circus and he did (kinda) ripoff a dead guy's name. I suppose the webmasters have only seen the American 'cut' dub of Gundam Wing, and have managed to ripoff information from the Endless Waltz OVA (which get shown November 10th in the US) that could be found on another page. *claps* They can use the copy/paste command! Impressive!
5) Their DEFINITION of Gundam Wing Boys (Yes, I had to make that word bold, since the creators can't spell worth a damn.)
When I first tried to access this page, it came up as a dead link. Woohoo! *docks off another 3 points from their score, which is already low* So, I can't say what their 'definition' of the G-boys is, nor can I mock it. Here's a tip: CHECK YOUR LINKS AFTER YOU UPLOAD IT TO YOUR SERVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Erm...next...
6) 'Crappy' G-boy Pictures
Well, I have to admit, the pictures they featured in that wonderful little section are rather shitty. "Steal any pic you want! Like I really care!! Enjoy!" Well, even though the pictures are crap, I'll steal them, what the hell. While I'm at it, I'll take the rest of the pictures from your page, since you've clearly stated that you don't give a damn. I hope seven year olds aren't using this as a source of information for the Gundam Wing pilots, since this would leave them with a rather warped view of one of the best anime series I've ever seen, on US airwaves or on subtitled tapes.
7) "In The Beginning" (read: Their cute little story about the G-boys past)
Actually, this was the most amusing, as well as most sickening, part of the entire site. They portray Heero as a homosexual beggar who did it with Trowa for five cents, Duo getting screwed by some old woman janitor, Wufei locked in a cage with gorillas (kekeke...), and Quatre having sex with some producer chick named "Pimp Mama Jessica", who supposedly happens to be Heero's 'pimp'. The entire story was written sounding like the author was having a bit *too* much fun with the sex scenes. X.x Again, I can only hope that the visitors of this site are no younger than 14, maybe 13 at the most, since this is EXTREMELY sickening. Plus, you morons, that's NOT how the hell the Gundam Pilots got together, and they aren't a frickin' loser singing group like N'Sync or Backstreet Boys. Oh yeah, if you want to read this rather delightful little story, go here. I refuse to copy/paste such crap onto my page.
8) Why they hate the G-Wing boys
Yeah, I thought they had covered this in their little comments about the Gundam guys, but I was proved wrong. Only one thing was going through my mind when I clicked on the link: How much sicker can this page possibly get? I was, after all, still recovering from the G-boys' "past" story. Let's read some of their reasons for hating the Gundam Wing boys:
Ok first of all they scream and rant about how little they know lets see. I wouldn't mind that but you don't see them doing anything for poor people. Have you seen them do anything for charities? Have you seen them donate money from all of their merchenise to any charities? NO. They only do this to get attention from people.
They rant and scream about what they don't know? What the hell kind of crack are you smoking, Linda? (She's the one who decided to speak for the both of them in this page.) The *only* one who rants and bitches about everything is Wufei, and I can assure that he doesn't complain about NOT knowing a damn thing. They don't do anything for poor people? Who gives a damn!? Do you see Tsukino Usagi from Sailormoon doing anything for poor people in the anime or manga? HELL NO! What about Son Goku from Dragonball Z? (ROFL at the thought of Goku volunteering for something like Meals on Wheels...) How the hell can they do anything for charities if they're TWO-DIMENSIONAL!? Good god, and I thought people calling Treize 'Door' was rather stupid. These people REDEFINE the word!
Another reason why I hate them is because of what they wear. Can't they wear anything normal? Like maybe tank tops? Why do they have to wear tight and reveling clothes?
You hate people because of what they wear? Oh good god...may God have mercy on your soul. Why don't they wear Tank Tops? Um...hello, What do you think Heero wears? Nothing!? (Mmmm...Heero without a top...ANYWAYS!) They do not wear 'tight and REVEALING clothes! Hell, look at Bitch Boy...he wears the baggiest crap possible! Reason #3...
Reason #3, Gundam Wing Boys stuff? Stickers? Tattos? Posters? T-Shirts? Gum? A movie? I have one word for you SELL-OUTS!!! Everyone always says, well your jealous of them, you must have no friends, you must be ugly. Well guess what? All of those are wrong!!! I may be jealous of the money but nothing else. I do not want to be some porno mechine person.
Again, with this reason, I was rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off. What can I say? Stupid reasons written by stupid people. How the hell am I a sell-out for buying some GW artbooks and other miscellaneous things? Give me a break. Trust me, Linda-chan, the Gundam Wing boys aren't seeing a cent, since they're only anime characters, AKA: drawings. Kekeke...by the way, the last time I watched Shinkidousenki Gundam Wing, it wasn't a hentai or ecchi anime, so you aren't going to see the G-boys act like 'porno machines', despite your wish for them to be.
Another reason is that they didn't know how to bulidstiff in the first place. SOMEONE HAD TO TEACH THEM!!
What the phuck are you talking about? Use a spell checker! OF COURSE SOMEONE TAUGHT THEM HOW TO BUILD/REPAIR STUFF, what the hell did you think they were doing with the scientists? Having a picnic? Sheesh...
Reason #5, Listen to their voices and watch the video's with the mute button OFF guys. Their voices are so stupid!!!
How can I break this to you gently...you can't listen to a DAMN THING if you have the TV on MUTE! I agree, the English voices for most of the GW cast are quite stupid, but the Japanese voices are A LOT better, imo. Well...except for Wufei, but there's nothing you can do about that. (Kekeke...) These reasons suck, as does your page...
Don't worry! This section is almost over! I just have to show you what I think has got to be the most HILARIOUS part of this page. Linda, you have the 'Gundam Wing Pilots' confused with something like N'Sync, my dear. Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and hell, even Wufei aren't going to disappear by November, especially with Endless Waltz coming out next month. (Even though, I can always hope that by some miracle of God Wufag dies some incredibly horrible death...) :P
All I have to say is that Gundam Wing Boys WILL eventually break up. GWB fans, yes it's true. I personally think they wont last much longer then November. Every group breacks up, gundam Wing Boys will just break up sooner.
I can only think of one word to describe these morons: STUPID! And if you agree with them on anything, you should be shot dead.
There are two other parts to this site, but I won't cover them. Obviously, Danial and Linda have seen, at most, ONE EPISODE of Gundam Wing, and completely twisted it from there. I would say something about making an anti-page, but then I would be sticking my foot in my mouth. (Well...farther than I already am by writing this review.) If what I've reviewed hasn't made you think about the kinds of idiots that get their hands on Frontpage enough, then I don't know what else to do. Have a nice day, and if you want, e-mail the lovely fools at gundamboyssuck@hotmail.com. I would LOVE to hear feedback from them, really. So would Death! GIVE THEM THE URL TO THIS PAGE, I beg of you! One more thing to the owners of the GW Boys Hate Page: Most versions of FrontPage and Netscape Composer have a built in SPELL CHECKER! I highly suggest that you use it, it just might make your idiotic opinions sound somewhat plausible. To the readers: Give them hell by sending them letters, or signing their guestbook. (PS: I suggest you take a look at the cute little entry I left them in their guestbook. ;))